Best of 2021

Been a while for this blog! Over a year I think actually. But I thought it would be good to wipe the dust off it a bit, and really try to use and showcase it a bit more. With this, I will (finally) write my Best of 2021 list!

Honorable Mentions

15. Psycho Goreman – This is pretty much if you crossed The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy with E.T., along with some Cronenberg influence here and there. It’s ridiculous, gory, pretty stupid, but a hell of a good time. If you have Shudder, I highly recommend it.

14. No Time To Die – A good end to Craig’s Bond. While not as good as Casino Royale and Skyfall, it still gives us a worthwhile film that had the deck stacked against it. Constant delays, a need to “evolve” the character of Bond with a female writer, director changes, this was a recipe for disaster. But it somehow managed to be a well done action flick, with some great performances, and some great action. It could’ve been better though.

13. The Suicide Squad – While not an amazing film by any means, it’s certainly leaps and bounds ahead of its predecessor. While not all the humor works, Harley Quinn still exists, and Bloodsport is pretty much a shitty version of Deadshot, I still can’t help but commend its many aspects. I found the film increasingly enjoyable, and many characters to be enthralling, including King Shark, Polka Dot-Man, and especially Ratcatcher 2. James Gunn, ya might be a piece of shit, but you introduced the world Daniela Melchior. I will give you that. But you’re still a sick fuck.

12. Spider-Man: No Way Home – Another highly enjoyable flick. While most Marvel projects have been mediocre at best (with the only one worth my time being Loki), this one I genuinely liked. And it’s a movie featuring a version of the character I don’t even like very much. While it is littered with inconsistencies, plot holes, and continuity errors, I still found the film worked for me, because it was one of the few times nostalgia bait actually worked to develop the characters. Plus, the ending promised a better future, which I can’t help but be excited for (if they fucking get it right).

11. Godzilla vs Kong – A giant ape fighting a radioactive dinosaur. What’s not to like? Yea the human stuff can be ungodly boring at times (especially in the first half) but the second half manages to pick up and truly be a dumb, fun, worthwhile kaiju flick. I await the next installment in the Monsterverse eagerly.

Top Ten Films of 2021

10. The Green Knight – A great fantasy spin on the ages old story, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. The performances are extremely well done, the fantasy of it is well executed, it mixes its tones quite well, and proved to be an enthralling epic. It’s slow at times, as well as having some weird artsy scenes here and there, but Lowery manages to take the source material and truly make it his own.

9. The Witcher: Nightmare of the Wolf – While not the most necessary thing in the world, I think this gives good insight on the world of The Witcher especially when season 2 has been somewhat lackluster in my eyes. So this gives me some good Witcher content. It’s extremely brutal, gory, and bloody, but it works for the purpose of the story. We see Witchers in a new light as apposed to the series, which was very intriguing. And we see Vesemir developing from star studded (douche-y) hero, to a proper leader. It’s also pretty short, and gets straight to the point. It’s a relatively simple story, and I very much enjoyed it. Plus, the animation is absolutely magnificent.

8. Ghostbusters: Afterlife – If there is anything that Spider-Man: No Way Home needed to pay attention to in terms of nostalgia bait but evolving the story, it is certainly this. It properly executes a story that will be beloved by old fans and new, uses the death of Harold Ramis in a proper, respectable and satisfying way, develops the story properly, and all the new characters (especially Phoebe) are memorable, likeable, and well rounded characters. If there is anything negative I have to say about it, is that it does follow the first film a bit too closely, and why the Ghostbusters broke up to be a bit off to me (as well as the scene itself being a giant exposition dump). But despite this, a well executed film I can’t help but love. Fuck you Paul Feig!

7. Once Upon A Time in Queens – Kinda cheating this one, but I couldn’t help but enjoy it. I have been a fan of the New York Mets for as long as I could remember. Even when I tried to embrace geekdom and leave sports behind me, I really couldn’t. Baseball will be in my DNA forever. With that, this documentary based on the rise of the New York Mets in the 1980s, to them winning the World Series in 1986, was nothing but enthralling. When my parents and I were watching it, we were only gonna watch one part, but ended up watching the entire documentary in one night. It was very well done, intriguing, informative, dramatic, well spoken, and one of the few documentaries I actually genuinely really liked, and thought was extremely well executed.

6. The Mitchells vs The Machines – A film that will undeniably tug at your heart strings, while also being cute, wholesome, genuinely funny, and has an engaging story. While the animation, at times, can be kinda ADHD with it jumping all over the place, having quick cuts, and not being able to stand still at certain points, it still wasn’t distracting enough to ruin the film. Plus, it does manage to take its time with smaller scenes and character driven scenes. So it manages to let the film breathe properly instead of just throwing a million things at you, constantly. As someone who is a weird outcast who wants to make movies, yea, this film spoke to me in a lot of different ways. It perfectly balances fun and emotion. Can’t help but commend it for that.

5. The Night House – This is one of two films that manages to execute its themes and story way better than Last Night in Soho could ever hope to achieve. As well as another film I will get into later. This is a story of a woman whose husband kills himself for no apparent reason. It’s her trying to come to grips with that while also showcasing something more sinister at work. This film properly executes its tension and atmosphere almost perfectly, while also showcasing a near pitch perfect performance from Rebecca Hall. What I also loved about this film, while it is a great substance over style film, it is still drenched in nightmarish style, that doesn’t get in the way of the story it’s try to tell. As well as the entire film being a metaphor for grief and depression. Having lost someone recently, the film manages to perfectly execute what someone feels when they do lose someone and all the different emotions you feel while processing grief. After finishing the film, everything kind of just became clear, and everything sort of… clicked into place for me. This is definitely one of those movies that gets better the more I think about it.

4. Nobody – The more ridiculous, fun, younger brother of the John Wick movies. It manages to keep the core of great action, but also manages to be its own thing. It’s a simple story of a man who has been in an ungodly boring place for too long, and a fateful robbery that changes everything. It’s not discount John Wick if that’s what you’re worried about. It’s a genuinely good, genuinely funny, and a genuinely engaging action film. It also has a fucking killer soundtrack.

3. Malignant – While The Night House manages to perfectly execute a substance over style movie better than Last Night in Soho, this executes a better style over substance movie. It is completely drenched in a nightmare-ish atmosphere and Giallo themes, while also not sacrificing a good plot at the center of it. James Wan manages to take all of the attributes of Giallo films (mainly Dario Argento with a bit of Mario Bava) and manages to reconstruct them into his own vision. It’s also kinda creepy in places, as well as being really enjoyable in the third act. A great film, a ton of fun, and if you like Giallo films, you will love this movie. But even despite this, it’s still a pretty damn great film that equally provides scares and an enjoyable tone.

2. Pig – Another movie that people thought would be a diet John Wick film but it ended up being so much better. Another great example of a film about grief and loss, but takes it in a more literal and story driven direction than The Night House. Nicolas Cage gives one of the best performances he’s ever given, the story is simple and to the point, but has a lot of depth for all the characters involved. It has a dreary and melancholic tone throughout, but I couldn’t help to find the beauty in it. Very well executed, and a mighty fine example of Nic Cage being a tremendous actor.

Finally for the number 1 “film” of the year:

1. Midnight Mass – I don’t care if this is cheating. It’s perfect. Go fucking watch it. Now. Yes, that is all I’m saying about Midnight Mass. Now go watch it you fucking pleb.

Bill and Ted Face the Music

Despite being middle aged, Bill S. Preston Esquire and Ted “Theodore” Logan still have not made the song that has unified the world yet. The fabric of reality is folding in on itself and with only an hour to save time itself, Bill and Ted realize that their only redemption is to go into the future and take the song from their future selves to save all of reality.

This review is a LONG time coming but I finally have time to sit down and review it. It’s not gonna be big as a lot of my other reviews, since the content is so simplistic in nature, but I’m gonna try my best. I am a bit rusty as well. Heh.

Acting was good from all accounts. Alex Winter stole the show and fit back into the role of Bill like a glove. Keanu Reeves, not as much. Reeves has managed to have an illustrious career since 1991 and has played different types of roles in different types of movies. With this, he kinda shed his role as Ted. So, he wasn’t as fun, full of life, or as goofy as he probably should have been. They do kinda touch upon it, but it still needed to be noted. I loved Samara Weaving and Brigette Lundy-Paine as Billie and Thea. While at first, I didn’t like the retcon from Bogus Journey making them from sons into daughters, I was completely won over by their characters that I honestly didn’t care in the end. They were so likable and so much like a young Bill and Ted that I was honestly surprised with how good they were. I kinda wanted to see more of their characters by the end of it. William Sadler comes back as Death, and he was still great and funny in the role. I like Kristen Schaal, and despite toning down her “annoying type comedy” for this movie, I felt she was kinda miscast in the role, and it didn’t really fit with what they were going for as Rufus’ kid. Same goes for Holland Taylor. It just felt kind of off putting. Hal Landon Jr. and Amy Stoch return to their roles as Ted’s Dad, and Missy– I mean Mom, and they were fine. Erinn Hays, Jayma Mays, Beck Bennett, Kid Cudi, and Anthony Carrigan round out the supporting cast and they all did fine. Although Carrigan was especially hilarious Dennis Caleb McCoy.

On a technical side, the effects were a bit wonky, mainly in the future, but due to the low budget, I feel as though it’s forgivable and it’s probably better than some bigger blockbusters out there. You know who you are. Editing, cinematography, and everything else was pretty good. I didn’t really focus on an

The story was, well, a fucking Bill and Ted movie! If you think about it for more than 5 seconds, it makes no sense, but the charm of Bill and Ted overshadows that, even here. It’s just a positive movie about two positive guys trying to make the world a better place with their music. There are people out there that are angry at this movie for idiotic reasons and I feel as though, they just don’t get the message of this movie. If you don’t like the movie for decent reasons, that’s fine, this isn’t a witch hunt and I respect your opinion. But there are people that were bitching about certain things in this movie that I found ridiculous. The story works and it FELT like a Bill and Ted movie. The original was this cute little almost indie flick about two positive and optimistic rockers just doing what they love and not caring who knows it. That carried on into Bogus Journey and this. I feel as though that the story about growing older and trying to hold their relevance was well executed. Solomon and Matheson stuck to their guns and made this such a worthwhile movie to watch. It was only 90 minutes, it didn’t try to do anything big, super deep, or preachy. It was just two dudes trying to save the universe and I loved it.

The Bill and Ted franchise is just one of those things where you can’t really judge too harshly or get too mad about. The stories or so simple and fun, the characters or so likable, and they are well executed movies. That’s it. I watched all these movies with my dad and by the end of this movie, I was smiling from ear to ear. I was on a beautiful high of pure, raw, happiness that I haven’t felt in a while. And you know what? In this day and age, we really fucking need that right now.

9/10

Top 10 Movies of 2019

This is one month late, but I wanted to get some more movies under my belt before doing this list. Again, I won’t be doing another Worst Of list because unlike a lot of people, I don’t go out of my way to watch bad movies. I saw a couple ones that ticked me off (Ad Astra being a major fucking example) and a couple that were very overrated (Marriage Story anyone?) but I think I found a good list of movies, and ones I am comfortable to make into a list.

Honorable Mentions

Shaft – I am purely putting this on the list because it was definitely one of the most underappreciated movies of this year. It doesn’t try to reinvent the wheel, but it’s not supposed to. Yea the generational jokes do get a bit tiresome after awhile, but the chemistry between Usher and Jackson was great, the action was surprisingly really good (it’s not John Wick, but hey, still better than some other crap), and the humor was pretty damn good. I’ve only seen the original from 1971, which is definitely better, but this was actually a damn good action-comedy. You just need to get the gigantic stick out of your ass to enjoy it.

Joker – Man, Joaquin Phoenix’s back must be broken for carrying this movie. Honestly, outside of him, the score, and cinematography, this movie would not have been as great as it was. Todd Phillips’ direction was fine, the supporting cast was fine, and the story was fine. The pacing was kind of a killer, as well as the lack of a really good story, as I said. While the deterioration of Fleck is very great and interesting, everything else around him just felt kind of… okay. I still really liked it, even when watching it a second time, but there are plenty of things that could’ve been better. However, the last 15-20 minutes do very much save the movie as well.

It’s A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood – This is just one of those really good and heartwarming stories. The story itself is actually, surprisingly quite good despite it being done so many times before. Here, the writing and acting really boosts the story when it should’ve been just yet another family redemption story. But when you add Fred Rogers, you just make it even better. I feel like the marketing kind of worked against this movie though as it was more advertised as a Fred Rogers biopic when it really wasn’t. So I feel like this movie didn’t get enough attention as it should’ve because of that. Despite the fact that even without Hanks’ impeccable and wonderful performance as Fred Rogers, it still would’ve been a very great story. However, Mr. Rogers was just a man too good for this world, and this film was yet another reminder as to why that is.

Dolemite is My Name – While the previous film before this one are probably better, I still can’t help but love and admire this movie. Just from a filmmaking standpoint. But it certainly helps that Eddie Murphy is an exceptional Rudy Ray Moore, the movie is absolutely hilarious, and the story is really great and inspiring. It’s not a lot but what Eddie Murphy has been doing for the last like… decade it’s pretty damn good. And I couldn’t help but enjoy it as well. Especially as a guy trying to make it in the biz. Lol.

Ford v Ferrari – Great performances, a great story, and an amazing third act. There isn’t a whole lot to say about this one, it’s just a genuinely great and interesting story with amazing performances. I think it’s just one of those movies you have to experience for yourself.

Top 10 Film of 2019

10. Rocketman – I do hate putting this so low on the list because it’s honestly a movie that gets better and better the more I think about. How Taron Egerton didn’t get nominated (especially after winning the Golden Globe) yet Jonathan Pryce did is still mind boggling. He did such an amazing job, and the movie surrounding him is so god damn good. Everything about it works spectacularly. It felt creative and fun, but was also a really great story about John without becoming a by-the-numbers biopic. Plus the reasoning for the many inaccuracies throughout the film work because the way the story is told. It’s through John’s eyes and interpretations of his life. As well as how he wants to explain them to his rehab group. The music is of course sublime, and everything about it is so great. I just can’t help but love it. Dexter Fletcher did a really great job.

9. John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum – I loved the first John Wick movie, it was a simple story, yet some of the best action ever put to screen. The second one was kind of forgettable and not incredibly interesting, despite more amazing action. So I was conflicted when seeing this. Luckily, I was completely and utterly shocked with how amazing it was. This and the first film are honestly neck and neck with how fucking great they are. The story is way better this time and once the wheel hits the pavement, it goes and never fucking stops. Despite a couple of slower scenes for the audience to take a breath, the drama of the situation was actually really well done and interesting. The action is once again amazing, I would dare even say better than the first. The cinematography is also probably better than the first because it honestly pops more and is a bit more memorable. This is just… one hell of an action movie, and I wait with anticipation for Chapter 4.

8. Us – After being rather disappointed with Get Out (despite respecting it more on a second viewing), I was unsure with how I would like Us. Could be amazing, could suck. I wasn’t sure. Luckily, I adored this movie. Lupita Nyong’o was snubbed god dammit. I thought the story was interesting, the slow burn was fantastic, the jumpscares were almost non-existent, and overall, it was a genuinely great horror flick. The comedy from Duke’s character was a bit annoying at times and the reason behind everything was extremely weak and forced, but outside of that, a genuinely great flick that was unfortunately forgot about very quickly.

7. Midsommar – It’s been almost a year since I’ve seen Hereditary, and I still don’t know what to think about it. Despite Toni Colette’s amazing performance, I still don’t know if I liked it or hated it. So Midsommar was up in the air. Luckily, I absolutely loved it. It can be seen as pretentious, and I get it. But personally I don’t think it was. A bit artsy but pretentious? I don’t personally see it but as I said, I do get where people are coming from. I genuinely thought it was a great slow burn, had amazing cinematography, and an exemplary performance from Florence Pugh. She got nominated but for the WRONG FUCKING MOVIE! So close, but yet, so far. While people were really mixed on this, I felt that it was fantastic and entranced with its style, weirdness, and made me really uncomfortable, which is what great horror is supposed to do right? So for me, it worked. I look forward to Ari Aster’s next film, whatever that may be.

6. Parasite – I literally just watched this film and it was fantastic. The cinematography and writing were incredible. Easily the best screenplay from last year. Bong Joon-Ho’s direction was exemplary. It was strange and somewhat surreal, and that is my bread and butter as of recently. Make it weird, and you got my vote. For the most part at least (Escape from Tomorrow, I’m looking at you). I really, really liked it, and its messages and themes were integrated and written well (which is more than I can say for a lot of other movies). While it may be too strange for some people, and the idea of watching subtitles might tick people off, but it’s such a great experience that you’ll honestly forget about it over time. As Joon-Ho stated, “Once you overcome the one-inch tall barriers of subtitles, you will be introduced to so many more amazing films.” Speaking of though, now I need to watch every one of his movies…

5. The Lighthouse – Yea, not very surprising that this is so high up on the list right? Again, it’s a movie that just automatically works. I really want to see it again though. I need to see it again. The story is perfect. I didn’t think it was when watching, but it was. While the first half can be seen as very boring, it’s just a trick to lull you into a sense of security and BAM, it fucking hits you like a god damn bullet and never lets up. And by the end, you question anything and everything. Robert Pattinson is definitely forgiven for Twilight, I will say that. He is a fantastic actor and more people need to give him a chance. If he can handle being a lighthouse keeper that slowly loses his grip on reality while dealing with a fuckable mermaid, a farting and drunk asshole, and the mystery of what’s in the light of the lighthouse, I think he can handle playing an angry orphan with throat cancer that dresses in tights. Just saying. Then, there’s Willem Dafoe. He gives one of the greatest performances this year and once again, ANOTHER. FUCKING. SNUB. WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING? WHY DO THEY DO THIS? Oh yea, they don’t respect horror because reasons. He gives arguably the greatest performance of his career. For 40 fucking years this man has transformed himself into the roles he’s taken on, and has barely received any credit for that. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH HE’S SACRIFICED? Just… fuck man. Dafoe makes this fucking movie. He is quiet and soft spoken one minute and a belligerent, fucked up asshole the next. The performance is fucking out there, don’t get me wrong but he makes it work so extraordinarily well. It is a movie you just have to experience for yourself. Robert Eggers is precious and he needs to be protected at all costs. Now, please make Nosferatu. Then make whatever you want to make and never stop. Please.

4. Shazam! – Yea. After THAT tirade, you didn’t think that this movie could top that. But it does. Because it’s a movie that is so simple yet… I cannot help but love it. We honestly don’t deserve a DC movie this good. We really don’t. Yet, WB managed to let a pretty much no name director take this on, with no budget, with nothing but a simple little story about family and really learning to be better. It’s honestly a better Spider-Man film than the last two MCU movies. Zachary Levi is nothing short of perfect casting for Captain Marvel. And yes, I said Captain Marvel, read your history plebs. I didn’t think so at the time he was cast but he really is exemplary as Captain Marvel. I love the cheesy suit, the personality, the humor, just everything about him rocked. While there are many discrepancies with Cap and Billy, as Asher Angel’s portrayal of Billy is more straight laced rather than goofy, I still liked them both very much. Jack Dylan Grazer, Grace Fulton, Faithe Herman, Ian Chen, and Jovan Armand as his foster family are also really great. I think they were memorable and each had a distinct personality. Mark Strong was a great villain, which is unsurprising. I think this had a great blend of comedy, drama, and even scares as well. While not the most perfect movie ever made, it gets by with great acting, writing, humor, and memorability. Can’t wait for the sequel.

3. El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie – This movie definitely isn’t for everyone, but, as someone who genuinely loved the show (after all the hype died down at least), this was so great to see. Seeing Aaron Paul return to this character after 6 years was such a delight, and he absolutely fits back into it like a glove. I thought this was a bit strange at first, due to the nature of it being an epilogue for the show. I thought it would possibly ruin it, but it doesn’t. It works as this perfect end to Breaking Bad, and I’m very happy it exists. While it doesn’t stray too far from what Breaking Bad looks like on a technical side (as I have said many times before that Better Call Saul is definitely better and more experimental on a technical side) I still found it to be an interesting and engaging story, and had Paul deliver a genuinely great performance. Can’t wait for the last season of Better Call Saul.

2. Doctor Sleep – Mike Flanagan once again proving he is one of, if not the greatest, horror director working today. I was completely and utterly entranced by this movie from beginning to end. Which is saying something, considering I don’t like the previous film, The Shining. Yea, I know. However, I think this movie was exceptional and creepy. Ewan McGregor’s performance was nothing short of amazing. While it was hard to buy him as an older Danny Torrance, I still think that he did a phenomenal job. Kyleigh Curran delivered a magnificent performance, and I mean that wholeheartedly. Whenever a kid delivers even a decent performance, I have to give credit where credit is due. But even with this, she was way better than she had to be. She and McGregor had great chemistry with one another. As well as the fact that Rebecca Ferguson, Jesus Christ was she fucking creepy. Honestly, her best performance hands down. The tone, the look, and just everything about this film made this a truly great horror experience. Somewhat ironic how it’s called ‘Doctor Sleep‘ because a lot of people slept on this great film when it came out. I highly urge you to check it out, even if you’re skeptical due to it being a sequel to The Shining. Now, if you think I’m biased since I didn’t like the movie and I like the much more different and stranger sequel, a friend of mine who adores the original, loved this movie. So if that’s any consolation, check it out.

And then, my absolute favorite film(s) from this year are:

1. The Irishman and 1917 – Yep, this is a tie. Because in all honesty, I majorly admired both. Originally I had 1917 lower, but then I decided, screw it, this is my list, I can do whatever I want with it. First off, The Irishman. Martin Scorsese does it again, and does it again REALLY god damn well. I have almost nothing bad to say about this movie, with the occasional uncanny valley CGI. I still think they should’ve gotten a younger actor for Sheeran as a young man, as well as a bit of a drawn out ending. Outside of this though, I loved this movie so much. The running time didn’t bother me, and despite its slow pace, I was glued to the screen from beginning to end. Al Pacino and Joe Pesci give the some of the greatest performances of their careers, and Pesci arguably gives the greatest performance of his career, just ever. De Niro was also exceptional, despite the CGI. The story was nothing sort of amazing, the character of Frank Sheeran was extremely intriguing, and I can’t help but love it. It has earned every accolade that it has been given, or will be given. What I also really love about this movie is the fact that there’s less action than something like Goodfellas or The Departed. It really takes its time, and I really appreciated it. More of a melancholic and sad look of the life of Sheeran. Really building the drama between him, his family, and the mob. I cannot help but adore this movie because it has just about everything you could ask for in a movie, with very few flaws. The performances, the story, the themes, the cinematography, the effects (for the most part), the writing, the pacing, the editing, just… everything about it is truly exceptional. Now, 1917. This is literally fantastic from every angle. It’s an amazing war movie, it’s an amazing character driven story, it has brilliant cinematography, it has amazing acting, it has incredible and epic music, and it was just… an amazing experience. The thing is, I didn’t expect this to be as amazing as it was when going into it. Mainly due to the less than spectacular reviews on here, as well as the fact that it won the Golden Globe for Best Drama. So I expected it to be good but nothing great. But as I just stated, it was an absolutely mindblowing experience. Everyone has to see this in theaters if you can. It’s just the best way to see it. I will say Mr. Mendes, all is forgiven for Spectre. Most definitely.

That was a very late list but I hope it was worth it. I still have plenty of other movies to watch from 2019, but I watched what I really wanted to watch, with a few exceptions here and there. If yours is any different, please comment below, as I am interested with what yours are.

1917

This is going to be a slightly different tone of review to more so just write down all of my thoughts on this film, to capture the tone of the film with being one continuous thought process (like one continuous shot). Now, this movie is great. I didn’t expect it to be as great as it was. Why? Well, I expected it to be just another war movie. A spectacularly looking and intense war movie, but we’ve seen that before. It didn’t help that it won the Golden Globe for Best Picture – Drama, because with that, I expected it to be a war movie that ticked boxes rather than being something genuinely great. It ALSO didn’t help that a bunch of the people I follow gave it slightly above average grades. But luckily I was still blown away with how good it was. Especially in the last pulse pounding 20-30 minutes of the film. But even with all that, it worked. Even starting the movie, I expected it to be an all style and no substance movie. However, it still delivered. It didn’t have a ton of subplots, or a ton of character development, or anything like that, it was just getting from point A to point B and it just magically worked. I keep saying that but I really can’t describe what made it so good (with the exception of one thing I’ll get into later). In all honesty, I think THIS movie is what Dunkirk tried to do but much better. It’s a survival movie, and having it be one continuous shot made that message, that tone work, where it didn’t for Dunkirk. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great movie, but it never conveyed to me that it was a survival movie, which is what Nolan was going for. This was mainly because of the jarring/confusing perspective changes and it looking like a standard war movie. As well as the fact that almost none of the characters were interesting. Meanwhile, here, I felt the need of survival, the ticking clock (another thing Nolan somewhat failed at), but Mendes managed to make us give a shit about Blake and Schofield. With having it just be these two characters, and how wonderfully they were written and acted, we cared. We genuinely cared. Given the fact that they were unknowns, (with only knowing the actor who plays Blake from fucking Blinded by the Light) I wasn’t sure that they would be great, but holy fuck they were great! Despite having some major talent only appearing on screen for a couple of minutes, the two leads were nothing short of exceptional! Now, the major thing about this movie that I need to talk about, and the reason that makes this movie as amazing as it is, is Roger Deakins’ cinematography. I don’t know how he does it but fuuuuck, nobody can capture beauty on film like he does. It could be the grimiest, most disgusting war torn battlefield, but it manages to be the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Every shot I can hang on my wall. It makes the movie, without a doubt. It would not have been as good as it was without Deakins’ cinematography. As great as everything else was, (and it very much was) for me, it would equal those slightly above average reviews I saw from the people I follow than being this amazing film. Thomas Newman’s score was also phenomenal. I honestly wanted to hear more of it because it was so good. But it would also disrupt the chaotic tone of the film so, I’m glad it was used sparingly. But that just shows that it was a great score because it left me wanting more, y’know? I also loved the pacing. It has to be one of the most perfectly paced films, like, ever. It managed to portray the brisk ticking clock pace exceptionally well, but we still had time to breathe and have slower moments, that weren’t too slow. Again, it shows through Deakins cinematography, as well as the editing (or lack there of I guess). As time went by, the more and more impressed I got with this film. It just became better and better and better as time went on, and it was just beautiful. Every single solitary thing about this movie worked, and it was held together by Deakins, and through him, managed to make this film higher class. After chaotic disappointments like Richard Jewell and Knives Out, I was so glad to not be disappointed by this. My expectations were definitely exceeded. I’m so glad this exists. I left the theater a changed man, without a doubt. The story might be simple, but it is effective. The dramatic scenes play out, they aren’t scared to be dramatic. After seeing so many Marvel movies, this is honestly the most refreshing thing to fucking see ever. Just letting a scene between two characters play out and play out beautifully well. Again, Deakins, being the fucking genius with a camera he is, exemplified this. The more and more I write this review, the more I love it, just like the movie itself I guess. I honestly cannot figure out how someone can give this less than 5 stars but there are people who did, and I don’t understand it. I accept it, because that’s what they think, and that’s fine. But, 1917 was extraordinary, and I am definitely starting off my year right with this movie. Please, for the love of god, show it some love. See it on the big screen. Please, please, please, please, PLEEEEAAASSE! You won’t regret it.

Fucking Deakins man….

10/10

Knives Out

A popular mystery writer named Harlan Thrombey is found dead with his throat slit after his 85th birthday. A private detective named Benoit Blanc is called to the Thrombey home anonymously to figure out if his death is in fact, a suicide or something far, far worse.

Unfortunately, yet another disappointment before the end of the decade that I hoped would not be, but ended up being unfortunately. Not a bad film by any means, just extremely flawed and not as “genius” as people make it out to be.

The cast genuinely did a good job, but I feel like outside of Armas, Craig, and Evans nobody really did anything of interest. The rest of the cast was just kinda there to bait people into seeing the movie, which is what I feared it would be, even though I hoped otherwise. While the rest of the cast did have some humorous lines here and there, they didn’t really do anything of interest. While you did have some genuinely great talent with Plummer, Curtis, Collette, and Shannon, great up and comings like Stanfield, Langford, and Martell, and hell even a has-been like Don Johnson, they aren’t there to really do anything so I’m still wondering why they’re there in the first place (well for Johnson, it might be to collect a paycheck). They could’ve easily been played by character actors or unknowns. Despite this though, Craig did steal the show with his laughably bad old school Southern accent and being the Poirot of this caper. He was a joy to see, and I’m glad he actually had something to do. Armas does do a rather good job as well, and Evans is extremely entertaining.

I think the pacing was decent in the first and third acts, but it went like a snail’s pace in the second act and just felt like a chore to sit through. I kept looking at my watch to see how much more I had to sit through, but as I said, it luckily picked up a bit towards the end. The cinematography was very good (especially with coming out of something like

Richard Jewell) and it felt like a lot of things popped in certain areas and was very… pleasurable I guess? I don’t know, I can’t really describe it, but it was certainly a lot more interesting to look at. I mean, it’s not Deakins levels, but it was very good. The humor was never gut busting, but I felt like the humor went along with the pace of the film, which I appreciated. Like the movie didn’t grind to a halt to tell a joke and then move on. The humor in it of itself was not amazing by any means, but I appreciated the execution.

The story is just… fine. It’s definitely not as intelligently constructed as people think it is. I think what Johnson was trying to do was create a deconstruction of murder mysteries but ended up failing miserably. The fact that everything was revealed in terms of Marta’s story at the end of the first act just felt like Johnson unironically using his “expectation subversion” technique without doing anything really interesting with it. Which is probably the reason I immediately checked out of the film when it was revealed. At that point, Johnson just took the mystery out of the “murder mystery” and he just didn’t execute the story properly if he was trying to do something unique with it. It didn’t feel like a twist with extra layers, it just felt like we got fed the entire movie and then later on Johnson remembered “oh shit yea, I have to put a twist in there”. It also REALLY didn’t help that the person behind everything was the most glaringly obvious person, that I initially thought it was a joke at first. It’s not Opera levels of stupidity (even though the rest of that film was so brilliantly executed by Dario Argento that the glaringly obvious twist wasn’t that bad in hindsight) but it still made me want to smack my head in frustration. When the person responsible said one specific line, I immediately knew that it was going to be him/her, but I initially didn’t take it seriously due to the obvious nature of it. Another thing that I didn’t really like was the political talk in the film. The use of “SJW snowflake” and “alt-right troll” just, IMMEDIATELY dated the movie and I was just rolling my eyes with the use of such words. They’re not even used cleverly or with an ongoing theme or anything, they’re just there because of jokes, possibly? Or fool idiots into thinking it’s smart commentary when it isn’t? I guess Johnson was trying to use it as a theme that no matter what side of the spectrum you’re on, you’re a dickbag either way since the entire Thrombey family are a bunch of assholes. But it’s not a theme that is consistent or comes off as clever, it just comes off as dated, annoying, and pointless. Additionally, I just felt like this was just a weaker and not as interesting version of Brick which in actuality, was an exceptional Rian Johnson neo-noir mystery. It goes in a completely different direction than this film does, and Johnson does that very well. Here, it just felt kind of empty, like Johnson wanted to homage yet deconstruct this sub-genre and it felt like a failure on both fronts. It honestly just felt like a weaker version of Clue which I am beginning to appreciate more and more. Clue manages to celebrate but poke fun at the sub-genre it’s presenting (as well as the board game it’s taking its namesake from), however, it does it in an entertaining yet well constructed way. While I did state that the third act is paced well, I felt that the exposition dump by Blanc was done in a rather lazy way (which again Clue manages to do more cleverly) and feels like even more of Johnson’s bullshit “expectation subverting”. Lastly, I wanted to also talk about how outside of Armas, Craig, and Plummer, literally the entire Thrombey family felt like the same character, which is why I couldn’t really comment on the performances that much before. They feel like the same character with maybe a different tweak added to make them appear different when they really aren’t. I felt like I was watching Mad Men all over again, where everyone is just an asshole and it’s so poorly executed that you end up not caring about almost everyone. I feel like Seinfeld was the only thing to get entertaining assholes done right.

With all of that, I you probably think I hate this movie, I don’t. It was a surface level entertaining movie. Somehow, Rian Johnson managed to make a turn your brain off murder mystery. An oxymoron that shouldn’t exist yet somehow does. It’s entertaining, but you end up not caring about the ingredients that should make it a good story.

Overall, it was an entertaining film. While it does have great performances from Armas and Craig, good cinematography, decent humor, and entertaining moments from the supporting cast, it becomes burdened with mediocre pacing, a piss poor mystery, a supporting cast that does nothing of interest to the story, political and social commentary that is a laughable afterthought, and Johnson’s bad attempts at expectation subverting and deconstructing a sub-genre.

5.5/10

Richard Jewell

After saving many lives at the 1996 bombing at Centennial Park, a security guard named Richard Jewell goes from hero to accused terrorist after a reporter publishes a flimsy story of circumstantial evidence that Jewell planted the bomb to be propagated as a hero.

What a disappointment. At least with a bad movie, it’s just bad and I can point out the awful things about it. There is evidence within it in addition to the disappointment. This is just wasted opportunity that should’ve been so much better than it was.

The acting was probably the strongest thing about the film, even though as a whole it isn’t that great, Sam Rockwell was easily the best part of the movie and was definitely a highlight. He put his all into it and you can really tell. It’s one of his better performances as a whole as well. Paul Walter Hauser had moments of greatness, mainly in the third act, but I feel like he mostly fell flat in some areas. Not a bad performance, but not amazing. I thought Kathy Bates was good but she’s been better (it certainly didn’t help that earlier today, I was watching parts of Misery). I think she had some high points, but mostly nothing special. Olivia Wilde and Jon Hamm were fine, but again, both have been better. With the former being almost a caricature at points. The rest of the supporting cast was not very memorable.

The cinematography was very boring to look at. It was not very special and had a very beige look to it. It looks very similar to a lot of other modern Clint Eastwood films and that’s not a good thing. The pacing was what killed it for me personally. It was a slog to get through. Not as bad as Ad Astra but it was still unbearably slow. The overall tone just felt dry and stale. The editing in the first half also felt weirdly off and really choppy. It got better as time went on but it was still noticeably bad in the first act and still overall not very good. So with that, it’ll probably win an Oscar for Best Editing.

The story just felt kind of weak. It just, to me, felt like it didn’t need to be over 2 hours long. A lot of stuff could’ve been cut out. At the same time, it felt like necessary scenes and story beats were missing. That could be just due to the choppy editing, but it felt like stuff was missing while also leaving in unnecessary scenes, or just scenes that could’ve been done differently/shorter. It also got somewhat repetitive after a while. It just kinda felt like, okay we get Richard is being dragged through the mud just get on with it. However, despite this, the actual story regarding Richard Jewell is fascinating with how he went from hero to suspected terrorist. So that did keep me going throughout the film. The actual intrigue of that story regarding him. It could’ve been done WAY better, but it was still intriguing at certain points.

Overall, this was a very disappointing film. It felt very dry and stale, the editing was bad, the cinematography was bland, and the pacing was a slog. However, it was saved by above average acting, various highlights regarding the story and certain actors, and the intrigue of what happened with Richard Jewell.

6.5/10

The Irishman

Frank “The Irishman” Sheeran is a man with a lot on his mind. The former labor union high official and hitman, learned to kill serving in Italy during the Second World War. He now looks back on his life and the hits that defined his mob career, maintaining connections with the Bufalino crime family. In particular, the part he claims to have played in the disappearance of his life-long friend, Jimmy Hoffa, the former president of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters, who mysteriously vanished in late July 1975 at the age of 62.

The acting was absolutely fucking superb. No no no, not superb. Absolutely excellent and near perfection in almost every sense of the word. Robert De Niro was excellent. While the CGI was a bit uncanny valley at times, he still gave one of the best performances I’ve ever seen from him. Joe Pesci was absolutely amazing. Arguably the best performance from him not only in years, but possibly his entire career. Al Pacino is actually giving a shit! Only Marty Scorsese can bring him back from the depths of Hell that is Pacino’s modern career and have him give such a great performance as Jimmy Hoffa. Harvey Keitel, Bobby Cannavale, Ray Romano, Stephen Graham, Jesse Plemons, and Anna Paquin were also all genuinely great. I honestly wanted to see more of them, they were that good. But the trifecta of De Niro, Pesci, and Pacino was nothing short of brilliant.

The cinematography was also really excellent. Nothing incredibly elaborate or complicated but it looked great. Looked a bit dry at points, but overall, very excellent. The pacing was tremendous. I know everyone is gonna say that this is over 3 hours long so it’s boring and blah blah blah, but I thought it was paced exceptionally well. First half was a bit better than the second half, and by the end with Sheeran as an old man dragged a bit, but outside of that, it was great. It felt better paced than movies half the running time of this one was (Ad fucking Astra, I’m looking at you).

The story was extremely well done. While a bit choppy at points, I was still endlessly intrigued with how this was gonna play out. Sheeran’s story is nothing short of extraordinarily interesting and wonderfully directed by Scorsese. From his days as a meat packer, to slowly weaseling his way into the mob as pretty much an outsider, to becoming one of the most feared in the organization was genuinely great. It was surprisingly a rather simple movie with just being about Sheeran’s life. There surprisingly isn’t a lot to it. There are gonna be endless comparisons to Goodfellas, and I can see that. They’re about similar things and similar people so it’s gonna come up. But while I think the plot is kinda similar, the themes and direction make them so very different. Some things Goodfellas did better and some things The Irishman did better. But I can tell you this, I am so fucking glad that this decade pretty much ended on a movie like this, because it really needed it. Like, tremendously needed it. While there are going to be plenty of great movies next month (not a lot but some) the 2010s ended with The Irishman. If anything can be represented from this year, and this decade, I would want it to be this. Mr. Scorsese, you magnificent bastard, please never stop. Keep making movies until you’re 105, we need you. This movie clearly shows you are still a tremendous filmmaker and there is nothing you can’t do. While this might not be my favorite movie from him, but it’s certainly one of his best, hands down.

If I have any negatives, there are a couple, but very VERY minor. The editing at time was weirdly choppy, the stuff with Sheeran as an old man kinda dragged, and Keitel, Cannavale, and Paquin were not used to their greatest potential. However, outside of that, I legitimately, have no qualms with it. This is as close to perfection as the year of 2019 in film can possibly get.

Overall, this was an incredible and tremendous film. The acting was absolutely excellent, the cinematography was beautiful, the pacing was shockingly well done, as well as the de-aging technology, the story was endlessly intriguing, and extremely great. However, the minor qualms of editing at points, the ending, and lack of appearances of some great talent are noted as well.

10/10

Doctor Sleep

It’s been many many years since young Danny Torrance left the Overlook Hotel and never looked back. Despite starving ghosts visiting him from time to time, he’s a shell of a man defined by tragedy. However, after finding a new purpose in life, a young girl named Abra comes knocking on his door, who has the same gifts he does, and is being hunted by something nefarious.

Mike Flanagan has blown me away once again. While I don’t think it’s his best work (that wonderful honor still goes to the first season of The Haunting) he still shows why he is one of the most gifted modern horror filmmakers, possibly even the best. Time to give him the praise he more than deserves.

The acting is absolutely fucking superb! Ewan McGregor is an absolutely amazing Danny Torrance. While it was a bit hard for me to see him as a “grown up” Danny Lloyd, he still did a magnificent job as a broken man from this troubled past and become better. McGregor sold it extraordinarily well and is easily one of the most underrated actors in the industry. Rebecca Ferguson was extraordinarily creepy and luckily never overacts like she easily could’ve with a role like this. Although, the “hi, there” catchphrase got old after a while (and we never had Dan respond with “hello there”, which is disappointing). The young girl, Kyliegh Curran, was extremely great for a kid actor. Despite being a bit stiff at points, she was still an immense talent and did a fantastic job. Cliff Curtis was great despite his small role, as well as Zahn McClarnon. Carl Lumbly, Emily Alyn Lind, Zackary Momoh, Jocelin Donahue, Carel Struycken, Bruce Greenwood, Alex Essoe, Jacob Tremblay, and Thomas Downing make up the supporting cast and all do a great job.

The cinematography and lighting were very excellent. The way Mike Flanagan’s movies look to me, are very unique. Like, the way that a light looks in a colder setting is very different. The aura of the light isn’t projected like a light should be, if that makes sense. The warmness of the light only exists in the light itself. I just noticed that in this film and others, and thought that was interesting. The way his movies look are just so interesting to me and it is exemplary here. Even the recreations of the shots from the original Shining were damn good. As well as the duplicate sets.

The horror is extraordinarily well done. Mike Flanagan knows how to relate terror to the audience and build amazing atmosphere. He knows how to suck you in, disturb you, and chill you to your bones. A lot of scenes are genuinely terrifying and do NOT pull any punches. For those who have seen it, you KNOW what I’m talking about.

The story was very uniquely presented and very much felt like a King book come to life. There were a lot of dialogue heavy scenes but also amazing horror. As well as luckily not having any jumpscares, and if there were, it still lead to something terrifying, or something terrifying was still going on. It’s so unique that I feel I can’t even explain it. But in a good way. You have the journey of Dan Torrance, trying to be better and accepting the call, then you have the storyline with the True Knot (which I hoped would be fleshed out a bit more, but still got what they were going for), then you have the storyline with Abra. The way it converges works so magnificently well and they’re tied so well together. All of them were fascinating to watch and as I said, it feels like a book come to life but not in a boring way, thankfully (looking at you Shining mini-series). The themes with Danny overcoming what he has to overcome to be at peace with who he was, was exceptional. Just, an amazing story that worked so god damn well.

If I did have any complaints, I felt the editing in the first act was kinda weird at points, mainly with the dissolves. It just felt kinda weird and jarring. Plus, with a 2 and a half hour movie, it did somewhat drag at points. Very few and far between though. But it did still come up. I also thought that the stuff involving the Overlook in the third act was a bit too Shining heavy. They could’ve dialed it back a bit. Still a great climax but it could’ve done without some things that were in the final cut. I also felt that the conflicting tones from the original Shining and this were distracting. It’s a movie that is so different from the original but also relies so heavily on it, it’s hard to see it as a sequel but also its own movie. Like, you would NEED to see the original film to really understand anything that’s going on. Unlike something like Exorcist III or Blade Runner 2049. But the thing is… you also don’t? It’s kind of hard to explain but I felt the recast actors were distracting and the vastly different tone was a bit off at times. So it feels like a sequel but mostly doesn’t.

Overall, this was a magnificent film from beginning to end. The acting was superb, the cinematography was excellent, the horror was exceptional, Flanagan’s directing is still some of the best out there, and the story was magnificent. However, it did have some flaws with the editing and pacing at points, a Shining heavy climax, and some tonal inconsistencies in regards to its predecessor.

9.5/10

Joker

CONTAINS SPOILERS! DON’T READ AHEAD IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT!

A man named Arthur Fleck is a weak and mentally ill man. He decides to stop being pushed around by the people who wronged him, stand up for himself and embrace his eccentrics.

I will say, that this is not a masterpiece by any means. Not even close to being one, however, I still thought that this was pretty well made from almost every aspect.

It’s pretty much not even a question that Joaquin Phoenix was of course amazing. He completely envelopes the role and does everything in his power to make this sadistic, twisted character his own. I also thought that, somehow, for some reason, he had this comic book feel to him that someone like Ledger lacked. While yes Ledger’s performance was much better, I feel like Phoenix had this strangeness to him that made the character more like the version we all know and love. I can’t exactly explain it, but, it certainly felt like that. Maybe because Fleck is the unreliable narrator similar to the actual Joker character (“If I’m going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice!”). The supporting cast I felt was used and then thrown away when they were done serving their purpose. They didn’t feel like characters, they just felt like plot devices for Arthur’s story. Zazie Beetz’s Sophie Dumond? Relationship was just a hallucination to add to his downfall; never seen again. Frances Conroy’s Penny Fleck? He finds out that she’s not his real mother and let him get abused; he kills her. Robert De Niro’s Murray Franklin? Another addition to his downfall; he kills him. Brett Cullen as Thomas Wayne, Glenn Fleshler as Randall, and maybe a couple other characters, they just do something to Fleck to add to his downfall, and then are just thrown away like yesterday’s trash. They don’t really feel like characters. They are very good in their small roles but they’re merely plot devices for Fleck and nothing more.

The editing was a bit weird and shoddy at points, where it felt noticeably off, but nothing too terrible. It didn’t totally derail anything but it felt weirdly noticeable. The cinematography was excellent, it had the very handheld and gritty feel to it. Made the film very haunting and mysterious. Speaking of, I felt the music also accentuated that. As well as making you feel reaaaaally uncomfortable. I was kinda squirming in my chair at points, not gonna lie.

The story is probably the biggest detriment this movie has. Mainly because it’s just Arthur Fleck becoming Joker. That’s it, that’s the movie. Now, I’m not saying the slow burn of a man with mental illness being pushed to the breaking point isn’t interesting, it totally is (just look at American Psycho) but I feel like this movie wasn’t as interesting as it could’ve been which prevents it from gaining the term “masterpiece” in my eyes. While Phoenix, the themes, and the ideas are very interesting, I feel like the plot leaves a lot to be desired. The main reason I was intrigued was because of Phoenix. The way he plays Arthur Fleck absolutely works, and I feel like without him, the movie wouldn’t work. If it was somebody, ANYBODY else, the movie would have fallen flat on its face. Phoenix is quite literally carrying this entire movie on his shoulders, and at points, you could feel him stumbling. This was a good effort from Phillips, and a good transition from his gross out comedies to something more serious, but I feel like it could’ve been better. It’s definitely not bad (to those on Letterboxd, that’s obvious), but I there was something that was missing that could’ve made it a lot better.

Overall, this was a pretty great movie. It has an amazing performance from phoenix, great cinematography, interesting themes and fantastic music, but it falters with lazily written and one dimensional characters, and a rather weak plot.

8/10

Ad Astra

There’s spoilers, but in all honesty, read anyway because it doesn’t really matter.

Strange electrical surges start to happen all over the planet. A stubborn and lonely man named Roy McBride soon figures out that his father might still be alive and might be causing the surges. So, he travels to Mars to try and speak with him, and eventually, the outskirts of Neptune to confront him and his demons.

I was kinda interested in this flick. The concept seemed interesting, I liked the cast, and it looked good. I wasn’t super excited for it, just thought it looked intriguing. But WOW was this film a fucking disaster. Let’s get this over with.

The acting was for the most part, good. Nothing amazing, because similar to Bohemian Rhapsody where the performance is only as good as the half-assed and shitty writing, Brad Pitt does try his best. I like the guy, he’s a great actor and he does try his hardest with the material given. There was pretty much no supporting cast outside of Pitt though. I mean yea, you have Donald Sutherland, Ruth Negga, Tommy Lee Jones, and Liv Tyler, but at the very most they get maybe 15 minutes of screen time? Hell, Liv Tyler is on screen for like 5 minutes, and only has one scene of dialogue through Face Time! There is a reason for it, but it kinda blows how you have all these great actors that are only on screen for 10 minutes each. They were all fine though. But the main problem I had with every single character in this movie is that they were so fucking emotionless. Half the time they looked like they were gonna fall asleep from fucking boredom! I know I was, but damn. Just because someone is always serious doesn’t mean they have to look bored. They looked like they were reading off a teleprompter and waiting for a scene to be done so they can go on to the next one.

The editing was a bit jarring at times. Sometimes it would cut to past events and you weren’t sure what was happening and it took a few seconds to realize what’s going on. The pacing was an absolute fucking slog. The first and third acts had some kinda interesting moments, but holy fucking fuck was it fucking BOOOOORING! It literally takes half the fucking movie for this bastard to reach Mars when it could’ve been done in 30 minutes. I mean, it’s fine if there was some intriguing events that take place but the only intriguing bits I can think of were pretty much filler (like the monkey scene). This easily could’ve been a decent short film but no fucking way did this fucking movie need to be 2 hours. And don’t fucking get on my case that “you’re a dumbass millennial who needs to have explosions and action every 3 seconds”. No, I don’t. What I need to have is a story that isn’t stretched so god damn thin that you can blow on it and it would probably break in half. The cinematography, I will say, is absolutely fucking excellent. It is easily the best part of the movie, and if it wasn’t for the ungodly boring storyline and dull characters, I would’ve been entranced by its beauty from beginning to end. I could easily frame any shot and put it on my wall. It really is, a thing of beauty.

The story was the worst part of this movie, hands down. As I said, it was fucking boring as shit. I will also reiterate, I like slow paced movies. There are plenty of great ones like The Changeling, Alien, The Godfather movies, The Shawshank Redemption, and plenty of others. 2001 also being a glaring example, but I haven’t seen it yet so I can’t judge. The major thing that breaks this movie for me though, is the narration. The narration made me want to blow my god damn brains out half the time. It just pointed out glaringly obvious things to spoon feed it to dumbasses who can’t think for themselves. Almost every time Pitt said something during narration, I said to myself “yea, no fucking shit”. This is FILM! We SEE what’s going on. That’s the fucking beauty of it!! WE WATCH AND INTERPRET AND ANALYZE! WE DON’T NEED PITT EXPLAINING EVERY FUCKING EMOTION AND THOUGHT WHEN WE CAN JUST SEE IT IN THE SCENE! THIS ISN’T A FUCKING BOOK! LET US READ THE SITUATION FOR OURSELVES!!! FOR FUCKING FUCK’S SAKE! In all honesty, I wanted to rip his fucking vocal cords out of his throat by the end of the movie, it ticked me off so much. Anyway, as I said before, there is so little story that there is tons of filler and scenes that don’t matter or lead to nowhere. Half the time I said to myself “what was the point of that” or “why was that necessary”. This movie is a guy with daddy issues who has to save Earth from surges because his dad went full Event Horizon because alien life doesn’t exist. As I said, could be a cool short film. But it’s stretched out beyond the necessary running time when it didn’t need to be. It certainly didn’t help that every character in this movie was so one note and forgettable. Literally, the ENTIRE personality of Pitt’s character is: daddy issues. Why is he a stubborn asshole with relationship issues? Daddy issues. Great, anything else? NOPE! That’s it, that’s the character. It’s like if you took Loki and sucked out all intrigue and likability. With something like The Thing, there wasn’t exactly a ton of character development and there wasn’t a lot to their characters. But here’s the thing though, THEY HAD PERSONALITY! THEY HAD EMOTION! YOU. FUCKING. GAVE A SHIT! Every single character in that movie was memorable, interesting, and brilliantly written. Plus, it perfectly accentuated the themes that this movie is so poorly trying to convey with its themes of isolation. We feel that these men are alone, are scared, but are absolutely fucked in their current situation. We feel that terror, and those themes that John Carpenter perfectly crafted. This boring pile of fuck on the other hand, failed in almost every aspect because James Gray NEVER made me care about Roy McBride. EVER. I didn’t care about the isolation he felt, I didn’t care about his daddy issues, I didn’t care about his trek across the galaxy, and I didn’t care about the neatly wrapped bow on his shitty arc that came out of fucking nowhere. Cool, we’re alone in the universe, that automatically cures systematic issues you’ve had your entire life? APPARENTLY FUCKING SO ACCORDING TO JAMES GRAY! God I haven’t been happier to see credits roll since The Amityville Horror. I must’ve checked my watch 20 times.

This movie… this fucking movie. I honestly didn’t think it was the worst thing ever when I got out of the theater yesterday. It was bland and boring, but it was kinda just that. But while writing this review, I really started to fucking hate it. I was originally gonna give this a 4.5, but as I am currently writing this, I switched it from a 4.5 to a 3. Because fuck this movie. Fuck its dull characters. Fuck its almost nonexistent storyline. Fuck its shitty writing. Fuck the poor interpretation of mental illness. Fuck the horrible pacing. Fuck Brad Pitt’s narration. Fuck James Gray for putting talented actors in his horrible fucking movie. Fuck the 15 bucks I wasted on this shit. Fuck this pretentious pile of fucking garbage.

If there is ANY good thing I can say about this pile of tripe, is the cinematography, making me want to watch 2001: A Space Odyssey, and making me appreciate John Carpenter’s fucking masterpiece of The Thing even more than I already do.

Fuck this movie. Go to hell Gray. Watch Once Upon a Time in Hollywood instead.

3/10

Steven Universe: The Movie

Spoilers for literally the entire show if you haven’t seen it, but mostly season 5.

2 years after the events of the season 5 finale, Steven Universe is living his happily ever after. The Diamonds finally understand how to rule Homeworld and have liberated their respected colonies, leading to a universe at peace. Steven goes back home to hopefully relax and not have to worry about defending the Earth anymore. But a certain person from Pink Diamond’s past comes to ruin everything, leading to the Crystal Gems without their memories and the fate of the Earth in question.

The voice acting from everyone involved is great as usual. Zach Callison, Estelle, Michaela Dietz, Deedee Magno, Tom Scharpling, Shelby Rabara, Jennifer Paz, Udo Aduba and the rest of the supporting cast are all really awesome and do their respected roles justice like in the show. Even Sarah Stiles as the villain Spinel is really good. No qualms with anything or anyone here. But I will say it is nice how Callison is able to do a voice more similar to his own with Steven’s balls finally dropping. Lol

The animation is pretty damn good still. I mean, it’s super easy to make fun of the CalArts style and I have done so in the past but, if the show’s content is good, then I don’t shake two shits at it. And that’s my thoughts on Steven Universe. But I found the animation here a bit better looking and a bit more polished. It’s not totally amazing or anything like that, but I found it to be better than the show, despite both being good. But the amaze factor mainly comes from the animation on Spinel. I loved the way she moved. It was VERY reminiscent of the old school Disney cartoons back in the 20s. Like Steamboat Willie and stuff like that. Like that very bouncy and fun style. I really liked that. The music, despite in the show being very good and being kinda famous for it, was unnecessary for the movie. I feel like it didn’t need to be a musical. Or if you wanna have it be a musical, just have the songs be fewer and far between is all. I kinda agree with Spinel on this one: “OH JUST CAN IT! YOU CAN’T FIX EVERYTHING WITH JUST A STUPID SONG!”

The biggest detractor though, is the story, hands down. Despite the villain Spinel being kinda interesting, and Steven re-living what he went through throughout the entire show is an interesting concept, I feel like Rebecca Sugar and the rest of the writers couldn’t really find a way to fill a 90 minute run time of stuff that was interesting but feel like the show. In reality, the previous episode, Change Your Mind was a much better movie than this was, despite that being an hour special rather than a movie. I feel like this could’ve been a 22 minute special or maybe another hour long special and it could’ve worked just as well. The fact that this was Steven Universe’s Endgame pretty much, it was kinda disappointing and didn’t feel like the show was leading up to all of this. It felt like a tacked on epilogue with a halfway thought-out villain to give something for Steven to fight one last time. Most of this movie is just running around to try and jog the Crystal Gems’ memories and then the stupid classic “misunderstanding” trope to pad out the run time (and then the character making a complete 180 in the last like, 5 minutes of the movie for no reason). I liked parts of this movie. You still have the more mature themes that Steven Universe is famous for, and some good highlights, but overall, this wasn’t really that great. I mean, if the show continues after this then it is necessary to see, but if it’s not, then I say, just watch the last episode and stop there. Because this feels like a tacked on epilogue with no real merit outside of seeing your favorite characters again.

5.5/10

It: Chapter Two

After 27 years, it turns out that The Losers Club didn’t actually kill Pennywise the Clown, and Mike Hanlon, the only remaining member in Derry, has to call back his friends once again to kill It once and for all.

Now, I’ve heard both extreme arguments for this movie. Some people say it’s great but some people found it to be rather disappointing, slow and it dragged out way too much. So, let’s get into it.

The acting from everyone involved was really great. Has a great mix of A-listers and more unknown actors and I think they fit rather well. A lot of people said (even the naysayers) that Bill Hader stole the show and was the best Loser. However, I don’t think so. Don’t get me wrong, he was great and hilarious, but in all honesty, I think James Ransone did the best job out of everyone. Not only did he NAIL Jack Dylan Grazer’s mannerisms and style, but he gave a great performance period. I found him to be very likable, have some good tense scenes, but also had some great comedic lines here and there as well. I mean, EVERYONE did a magnificent job but Ransone stood out to me personally. Jessica Chastain, James McAvoy, Isaiah Mustafa, Jay Ryan, and Andy Bean are all very good as their older counterparts. As well as the younger actors who come back for a couple of flashback scenes. They already are great and it was really great to see them again in those roles. Bill Skarsgard is of course great once again as Pennywise and despite his smaller role than in the previous film, he is still phenomenally creepy. Jackson Robert Scott, Teach Grant, Javier Botet, Xavier Dolan, and Joan Gregson round some more of the smaller characters and are pretty good for their smaller roles. Grant was really good as the older Henry Bowers, and I do wish he had more of a role because they honestly could’ve cut him as he left little impact on the story. But was still a very good addition despite this. I also very much enjoyed Stephen King’s cameo, Andy Muschietti’s, and Peter Bogdanovich’s as well.

The cinematography was rather standard for the most part but had some interesting and inventive shots in terms of the Ritual of Chud sequences and the climax. Pacing was actually fairly good. A lot of people were saying this was too long and boring, but I found almost every thing necessary to tell the story. As I said, the Henry Bowers subplot didn’t really amount to anything, just provided some additional scares that didn’t absolutely NEED to be there. But it was still fine for what it was. Despite this, I thought everything else was very necessary to the plotline. It could’ve possibly been shaved down to 2 hours, 30 minutes, but I never looked at my watch out of boredom. Only times I thought it dragged was when everyone went off on their own. It did seem slow at points, but after that, it picked up. Honestly, I want to see an extended cut of this because I want to see more of the adults.

The effects at points looked really good but at others, it didn’t. I don’t remember a ton of practicals, it was mostly CGI. The CGI was actually pretty good for the most part. It didn’t seem too fake looking. I mean there were points it was obviously CGI, but I didn’t say to myself while I was watching “wow this was really fucking fake”. It just kinda became part of the experience. Although the old lady didn’t look that great. But it wasn’t too bad either.

The story I found to be pretty interesting because it feels so different from the first. I even told a friend of mine that I found these movies to be weirdly similar to The Conjuring and The Conjuring 2. The first movie was more focused of the horror, suspense, and tension, as well as the actual villain. The second movie was more so focused on the characters and their relationship to one another, but having more extravagant scares and being more like a blockbuster. The characters, whether it was during flashbacks as children or, in the present as adults, had really great chemistry with one another and had very good development with facing their childhood fears. I was worried that it would suffer from the biggest thing the mini-series suffered from with the adults acting immature and too juvenile. Here, it felt genuine and they acted like actual adults. Mainly because the threat of Pennywise is actually horrific and scary. Now I don’t like to spoil anything in my reviews, so I’m not going to go too far into major specific plot moments, but I do highly recommend this movie. It’s almost as good as the first, genuinely. But I will say, I definitely like this ending more than the book ending. It’s makes more sense for this story with the fact it takes place in the modern day rather than the original book, which made more sense for that story. As well as a certain thing that happens earlier on being more meaningful during the ending. And the climax is fucking awesome!

However, there are still a few negatives. Now, for most people it was the pacing and use of flashbacks. Those didn’t bother me. In actuality, I thought the flashbacks transitioned really well into the main story. A major thing that bothered me was the jumpscares. Here, they were used more and were more pronounced. In the first movie, they were used unfortunately, but I felt the tension and suspense moments outweighed the jumpscares. Here, they are much more pronounced and more in your face and ridiculous. I didn’t like how their lives before they reunite weren’t showcased that much. It was one of the few things that was rushed when it shouldn’t have been. While I do like how Mike had more of a role here, as an adult and was showcased as more of a friend in the flashbacks, I still feel like his character got shafted. In the 2014 Cary Fukunaga script, his character got much more development and I was hoping that would be showcased here more, but unfortunately, it wasn’t. The comedy got a bit overbearing from Richie and I think it could’ve been taken down a few notches.

Overall, I loved this movie. I thought all the actors from the kids to the adults, as well as the minor characters and Pennywise all did a magnificent job. I thought from a technical standpoint, it looked great, it was paced rather well, the story was very well done, and I thought there were more meaningful moments between characters. However, the adults not getting more screentime, the jumpscares being more annoying, Mike not getting more development, Henry Bowers being a non-issue, and a couple other smaller moments prevent this from being better than its predecessor. But it’s still pretty close.

By the way, love that reference to The Thing! I was so god damn giddy in the theater.

8.5/10

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

In 1968, Stella, Auggie, and Chuck are three teens in a small town with a dark history. One night, along with a mysterious stranger named Ramon, go to a supposedly haunted house where Stella finds a book of scary stories. This unleashes an entity that starts killing off the four teens, along with Chuck’s sister, and their bully Tommy, one by one.

Pretty much everything about this film was really great, except for one glaring flaw, unfortunately, which prevents it from being truly great.

The acting from everyone involved was very good, but Zoe Colletti easily gave the best performance. She was the most believable and really gave her all to make the character of Stella as interesting as she could be. Michael Garza gave the second best performance, as he also tried to portray Ramon as a great and interesting character as best as he could be. Gabriel Rush and Austin Zajur were good as Auggie and Chuck but nothing spectacular. Although, Zajur did a good job with the scene in the hallway. Natalie Ganzhorn as Ruth was fine, but rather annoying, but I guess that was the point. Austin Abrams as Tommy was laughably bad. He was trying too hard to be an asshole, and it just came off as fake. Same with trying to act drunk. Although, the scene with Harold was definitely a highlight. Somewhat bigger names like Dean Norris and Gil Bellows didn’t really do anything of interest and were kinda there just to add some depth to the characters of Stella and Ramon.

The cinematography wasn’t terribly unique, but it wasn’t bland or uninteresting either. I feel like the first act was a bit slow, but it does definitely pick up after that. The effects and makeup with the different monsters was excellent although the last monster being entirely CGI was very stupid looking and took me out of the film a bit. However, everything else was very good.

The story was incredibly interesting. The way everything plays out, the mystery of it, the lore, the inevitability of knowing your death was all really cool. It wasn’t very original or creative, but it was certainly interesting. Although much similar to Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark, this would’ve benefited if Del Toro directed it himself rather than just co-producing and co-writing. Despite this, everything about the movie was very good from everything I mentioned. However, it had a very glaring flaw, and that was: the jumpscares. Now, I could ignore them if the movie is THAT good (like IT for instance) but this isn’t. It’s not bad by any means, it’s quite good and very interesting but while IT had a lot of good scares outside of the jumpscares, as well as an excellent story and characters, this didn’t. It wasn’t exactly original and it was very cliched with its script. With this, the major flaw of jumpscares was much more apparent and noticeable.

Overall, this was fun and engaging horror film. Zoe Colletti and Michael Garza gave stand out performances, the story was very good, and the effects with most of the monsters was really good. However, it detracts major points with the god awful jumpscares, the bad performance from Abrams, and the unoriginal and somewhat cliched narrative.

7/10

Once Upon A Time… in Hollywood (Quickie Review)

I think the performances from Pitt and DiCaprio were great, the supporting cast was also very good. Every famous person in this movie with a small role were very good with whatever role they had. The cinematography was very great, with Tarantino’s signature long drawn out shots. The major detriments for me were the pacing and the story. Pacing really dragged at certain points where I even looked at my watch to see how much longer it was going to be. It didn’t help that there was barely any story. It was more so just a somewhat fictional version of what 1960s Hollywood was like. It was interesting at points, but it really didn’t need to be 2 and half hours long. Especially for a movie with an extremely loose narrative. But despite its lack of story, I still really liked this movie, and it was very interesting. However, out of the Tarantino movies I’ve seen (outside of Jackie Brown, Death Proof, and the Kill Bill movies) this one was probably my least favorite. But still a really good movie nonetheless. Climax was easily the best part though.

8/10

Rocketman

The story of Reginald Dwight, and how he became the superstar known as Elton John through an extravagant and true fantasy.

Talk about a movie that isn’t even in the same ballpark as Bohemian Rhapsody. This just had, fantastical quality, was very well made and pretty much the personification of Elton John as a living legend. Let’s just get into it.

The acting from everyone was absolutely superb. Taron Egerton was an amazing Elton John. He captured the essence of the fantastical stage presence but also gave a humble and personal performance off stage. You genuinely believe the things he’s going through and feel bad for him throughout, and have this want for him to get better. As well as the fact Egerton has genuinely good writing to work off of, it was balanced out and it worked. Jamie Bell as Bernie Taupin was also really great. He brought that sort of human humbleness to the extravagance of Elton John. Richard Madden was a great unlikable bastard which was more contrary to the character portrayed by Aidan Gillen which was more of bland weasel of a guy. But I don’t blame that on Gillen. Madden did a very good job in the role. Bryce Dallas Howard, Steven Mackintosh, Matthew Illesley, Kit Connor, Charlie Rowe, and Tate Donovan round out the supporting cast and they all do a very good job.

The pacing was a lot more balanced this time around. In BR, it was so very rushed, but here it took its time with telling the story. With that, I also like how they didn’t have the years shown on screen, adding to that form of fantastical mystery that the movie was going for. The cinematography was also exceptional, showcasing this wondrous story in the right way, but also giving it this form of artistic identity that BR needed desperately.

The effects and costumes were also amazing. They recreated them pretty much perfectly and the fact that there was some CGI used was funny to me. But it was also done very well because it showed this strange new world of the film, and this side to show how we almost see Elton John. This otherwordly, larger than life, person. As well as the fact that the fake teeth looked a hell of a lot better.

The music is obviously amazing. While I am a bigger Queen fan than Elton John fan, it was still great to hear that music and helped bring the story along.

The story was pretty much the best part of it. The thing that makes this film work where BR fails miserably is that, this feels like an artist’s vision. This felt like a filmmaker making this grand story of an even grander man. BR felt like a producer’s vision of Freddy’s life and it sucked because he led a life that was a lot more outlandish and bigger than that. Even the taking liberties with the story didn’t bother me. Which is insane because of how much I harped on it in my BR review. The reason that it doesn’t matter here as much is because first off, the writing is a lot fucking better. The second is that it was marketed and very much is, a “true fantasy”. It was the story of Elton John, yes, but it still told it in a bizarre and outlandish way that it adds to the fantasy element that Fletcher was going for. It was creative, it was wild, it was fun. I don’t mind that maybe some movies take artistic liberties, that’s the whole point of movies, it’s an art form. But the way BR told its story and the way it looked, it was like they WERE trying to tell his actual story, then when it was written contrary to that, it didn’t make sense. Here, it’s portrayed as this fantasy and the heart of the man is still in there, and it’s still Elton John personified so it’s almost as if the artistic liberties work in the film’s favor rather than against it. This was the story of Elton John told through an artist’s lens and I loved that. I’m not gonna act like there aren’t problems, because there are. It still falls into those biopic conventions and cliches unfortunately, which take you out of the film a bit. Like the disapproving father figure, throwing out the old manager for a new one that “understands” the artist more, the pushing people away that are close to him, and that sort of thing. That’s why this isn’t a perfect movie. But those are fewer and farther between I noticed. Even the drug use, which is in a bunch of biopics as well, was used a bit more cleverly here than done previously.

Overall, this was a very well done movie. The acting was superb, the pacing wasn’t rushed, the cinematography had an identity, the story was amazing and fantastical, but it did fall into the conventions of a typical biopic at times.

8.5/10